Stubby Finger Blues
                Bill O'Connor

After attending a performance by an accomplished local guitarist, I went home realizing that my limitations on the guitar were caused not only by a lack of talent but also by a physical condition: short fingers and small hands.  Since finger lengthening operations were out of the question, I sat down, pondered the woeful condition I've had throughout my life, and wrote an autobiographical song.

Album: Coming Home/Bill & Lin O'Connor and Larry Theiss.

When I was a young man I tried to learn to play guitar
The teacher said, "Don't bother, kid. You'll never get too far
'Cause you ain't got no rhythm
You can't play a lick no matter what you do.
And on top of all that
You got those short stubby fingers too."

REFRAIN:
I got the blues, I got the blues
I got the short stubby finger blues
I got the blues, I got the blues
I got the short stubby finger blues
No matter what I do
I got the short stubby finger blues.

When I was a young man I tried to date a gal
She said, "Forget it, man, why I won't even be your pal
'Cause you ain't got no money
You're vertically challenged and I don't like your shoes
And on top of all that
You got those short stubby fingers too."

REFRAIN:
I got the blues, I got the blues
I got the short stubby finger blues
I got the blues, I got the blues
I got the short stubby finger blues
From my head down to my shoes
I got the short stubby finger blues.

Went into a pub I know, ordered Guinness stout
The keeper said, "Don't worry, son.  We won't throw you out
Now I see you got those short stubby fingers
But in here that don't mean you fail
'Cause those short stubby fingers
Can still hold on to a pint of ale."
(Bring him another!)
Those short stubby fingers
Sure could use a fresh pint of ale!